Sunday, November 08, 2009
Sometimes, I wonder why I am what I am
Or why things happen the way they do
I have never expected or asked much from people
Maybe because that's just me
Even if i do, it's most probably because I need to
I love to see the people around me to be happy
I don't know, it's a feeling I love the most
Maybe, that's why I have never minded doing things for people
But Yes, people do take advantage of me sometimes
People think I'm too nice? Sometimes, I actually get scolded for it
I remember when I first went to school for the very first time,
people actually thought i was faking
That i was just trying to nice my way through
Obviously, it took them quite some time to realise it was not true
I never liked hurting people's feelings either
When i do, the feeling is so horrid that it kills me inside
So maybe thats why i try not to hurt anyone's feelings
I tend to take extra precautions
It sounds stupid, but it used to be Worse when i was younger
Apologizing for all the wrong reasons and what not
I still do, but thinking about it right now, i realised how much i have "improved"
But you know what hurts the most?
The fact that your there for the people you love,
but you never get it back from them
Even if you do, it seems only temporary and the moment they find someone new
or just so occupied with their life,
that they just seem to leave you aside or forget you
And then it keeps me wondering why i ever spent that amount of time
be it days, or even months
Just wanting to make you happy when in the end, all it does is to just feel this way
Thinking about it right now, actually makes me sad
But if thats the results of our friendship, so be it
As stupid as I have always been, I'm still here for you, sigh